floundering-teddy asked: Count Olaf [I really want to know what unpopular opinion you might have of him, haha].
Hi Teddy! Thanks for the ask!
How I feel about this character: I was never actually afraid of him for some reason. He always just seemed to me to be a very peripheral character, this absurd villain cackling in the distance and greedily rubbing his hands together. Not to say he didn’t seem evil but it was like Voldemort. Of course he’s evil but I’m not worried he might show up and come after me. The most afraid of him I’ve ever been was when I started this reread about a year ago and started thinking through his attempted arranged marriage with Violet.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Esme. I was actually pretty shocked when he just abandoned her to the fire. Maybe it shouldn’t have been that surprising considering the troupe members he’s abandoned but it always seemed like he considered himself and Esme to be above those ~other~ villains. They were the bosses. Maybe Kit as well in an alternate universe where his parents were never killed and he never turned evil. (Maybe. It depends on how all that went down because I can’t exactly recall what happened except that it actually made me sad for him.)
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Olaf and the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard. Because someone has to keep him in his place and remind him that he isn’t the big bad. Really just because scenes with them together are hilarious. Also Olaf with Carmelita as sort of a father figure who teaches her how to spit in an AU where he doesn’t abandon them to burn to death horribly. I mean I can understand Olaf not wanting to be a father/any sort of child care provider (but what did he think would happen when he captured the Baudelaire’s they wouldn’t just magically stay alive. And did anyone even feed the Quagmire’s when they were with him?), but let’s be real, Esme was more than able to bully other people into bringing Carmelita anything she needed/wanted. Literally all Olaf had to do was teach her how to spit and be evil and I think he would have had a lot of fun with it if he wasn’t so “Ew. Children.” about it. One last one, Olaf/his troupe. Before he just started leaving them to die all the time. Because while it’s horrible what they did together, come on, you can’t have Olaf without his troupe. OH RIGHT! And Olaf and Madame Lulu who I adore and just brotp them so hard (except for when he’s eating all her food)!!
My unpopular opinion about this character: Well I apparently think of him as a lot more of a family man than he was. But it could be worse, I mean I could ship Violet/Count Olaf (nothing against you if you do but it seems like that would have to be pretty unpopular). Also I would probably kill to see him and his troupe in an actual play. And wow do I brotp him with a lot of people. *Ok, actually read below for unpopular opinion.
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Leaving aside the ‘not leaving all his friends and loved ones to die horribly in a fire’ I would have liked for him to have succeeded (briefly, in a way that didn’t result in anyone’s death) and have all the Baudelaire’s sitting in front of him, in his clutches, and then realize what now, fucker. because like I said before his plans aren’t actually all that well thought out. How is he planning on keeping them alive? How is he planning on making sure they don’t escape? If he knows the Baudelaire’s at all he should know it would require constant surveillance. Where will he keep them with his home presumably unavailable (due to the whole ‘on the run’ thing)? What will he occupy his time with? How does he expect to support three kids, plus his troupe, plus maybe the Quagmire’s depending on which book it’s in, when he’s spent all his money chasing after them? How does he expect to get the money once Violet turns 18? Not like she can just go to the bank and withdraw it all. I want him to realize how utterly useless his plans are. I also would’ve liked to know what his V.F.D. talent is supposed to be since we’re lead to believe it’s probably not acting.